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  •  The EvO:R Street Journal

    The EvO:R Street Journal
    Editorial statement
    Dedicated to the culture, business and interests of the indie artist. EVJ delivers controversial points of view, hard-news commentary, Industry Insites, artistic prose and photography and welcomes responses (pro or con), feedback and topic suggestions from readers. If you would like to submit an opinionated article, inspired poem, photo or essay to EVJ, forward all copy to Editor ESJ and put To the Editor in the subject field.


    Alleged Nazis protest D-Day
    Written by Frank Cotolo

    An old Nazi get-together PARIS -- A group of veteran Nazis who claim to have been in hiding since the end of WW II marched in Paris, protesting the anniversary of D-Day. A spokesman for the group called the event "a fraud."

    "Just like the Nazi death camps, the invasion was fake," said Heinz Schtupper, who marched in full Nazi regalia. "I am not hiding anymore and everyone should know the truth."

    There were seventeen men claiming to be ex-Nazis in the march. Ten of them wore Nazi uniforms and the rest were dressed like Gregory Peck in The Boys From Brazil.

    "We cannot arrest them," said a French police officer, "because they are in their thirties, making it hard to believe they were Nazis in the 1940s."

    "We just look young," said Adolph Luntz, who looks more Oriental than German, "and some of us are part Chinese. And some others are dentists who worked on Hitler's teeth during the war."

    "We are sick and tired of this lie that the Allied Forces invaded France and took Europe back from the Nazis," said Schtupper. "There is no evidence this happened and we wouldn't believe it if there was evidence."

    A spokesman from Interpol said none of the men had any history of breaking laws and that the only thing connecting each of them was the fact that at one time or another every one of them played a brass instrument with the London Philharmonic.

    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

    Franken desperately seeking Davis
    Written by Frank Cotolo

    A beaten Al Franken CHICAGO -- Author/comedian Al Franken is financing a massive search for his ex-writing partner, Tom Davis.

    Franken, whose solo career has spawned books and much media attention, was once a member of the team Franken and Davis, both who wrote for Saturday Night Live and even made some movie appearances together.

    The search comes at a time when Franken is having problems being funny. "He's burned out," said a close friend, "and needs that Davis juice again."

    "Tom was always the funnier one anyway," said a former manager.

    "Al's a millionaire now," said a show business attorney currently looking for a high-profile lawsuit to take on, "and Tom may be down and out and need some work."

    "Tom hates Al," said a former writing cohort of the duo. "Al, on the other hand, idolizes Tom and once told me that everything he did after the breakup was Tom material."

    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

    Green Party implodes
    Written by Frank Cotolo

    MADISON, Wisc. -- The Green Party, the political organization that backed Ralph Nader during two of his unsuccessful bids for the Presidency, has collapsed from the weight of its own issues.

    Sources say that the party's diehard opposition to extreme liberal causes was so heavy, and that the lack of comic relief from any administrative leader or member, caused the total breakdown.

    "Nader knew this was coming," said an unidentified party leader. "He had a hard enough time laughing at anything and did not want to be with the party during his current campaign for President. He knew it was political suicide to be caught in the heavy landslide that would destroy the party. And he knew he must leave and learn to smile, that learning to smile was the beginning of igniting laughter for the first time in his public career. And that might help him get votes."

    Liberal issues have long been described as stressful, cancer-causing issues and many liberals are morose, intense and personality-free people--much like Nader. But for a whole party to collapse from such heaviness is unprecedented.

    "Liberals are killing themselves," said Dr. Stewart Petroleum, ex-Green Party member. "I was treating so many of them for excessive burden carrying that led to tumors that I left the party. It was an unhealthy place to be a part of."

    Conservative Riley Roolerdebby said, "Being a Republican is so much easier on the mind and body. Not caring about many things, no matter how important, is the key to good health. We don't have to destroy liberals, they are killing themselves."

    "I will be in rehab for years," said another undisclosed Green Party leader.

    The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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    ESJ is looking for writers/poets for our next issues. All work is appreciated and will be published (with the exception of articles containing racism, bigotry or other demeaning topics) Also, this is a PG-13 rating and will be censored if you do not edit it. Please e-mail The EvO:R Street Journal.
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